alright.... neck pain but was saved by my most beloved angel :)

bored to this state, dont feel like studying but instead i'm wasting time aaaaaaaaa... well tats life folks :DDD

Well... I haven't been posting or writting for months already.

I've enrolled and started my course as a German-Pre U A-level Program for 22 months.
Hopefully, I can go through the challenges and successfully go to a German Facaschulle.

Met a lot of friends and most of them all are well, unique. And all of them are well academically trained people.

To my surprised, my school has quiet a number of christians. Which makes me feel comfortable talking about God and Jesus and the Bible.

Enjoy myself pretty much here. And I finally in a relationship hehe.

I love the feeling of having been woken up by someone whom you love to start your day off and also with the same person to end your day with her voice.

My life feels so sweet and nice :)

I hope that our love can go through all the obstacles ahead of us.
With you, my life feel so much colors now. I hope you wont leave me forever.

I fallen in love with you :)

We we out for a music night hehe and I think I gave her one of the best night ever.
We then went out for a movie where we hug and hold each other ^^
3rd date was going to random malls in KL with her hehe...

I wish we be with together more often, coss you make my life so full of love and smile

I dunno what will I do without your presence

it would be wonderful if i can find both an aesthetically pleasing and a beautiful hearted and caring and loving woman aaa... musically talented... can write and sing and play lulabies for my scary dark and cold nights~~~ dream on man!

sometimes i wonder, will i find someone who i really love and that person will love me just as much? so that my pain and sorrow can be ease by her. someone who can just talk to me when i needed someone the most...

Dicen que por las noches

They say that every night

no más se le iba en puro llorar;

he was wholly overtaken by tears;

dicen que no comía, no más se le iba en puro tomar.

They say he never ate, but only drank

Juran que el mismo cielo

They swear that even the heavens

se estremecía al oír su llanto,

trembled to hear his wail,

cómo sufrió por ella,

he suffered for her so,

que hasta en su muerte la fue llamando:

that even in death, he never stopped calling for her:

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay cantaba,

“Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay,” he sang,

ay, ay, ay, ay, ay gemía,

“Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay,” he howled,

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay cantaba,

“Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay,” he sang,

de pasión mortal moría.

tormented by a fatal passion.

Que una paloma triste, muy de mañana le va a cantar, a la casita sola

They say that in early morning a sad dove sings to the little empty house

con sus puertitas de par en par; juran que esa paloma

with its wide open little doors. They swear that the dove

no es otra cosa más que su alma,

is none other than his spirit,

que todavía espera a que regrese la desdichada.

hoping still for the return, of the ill-fated woman

Cucurrucucú paloma, cucurrucucú no llores.

“Coo… coo…” Dove, ”Coo… coo…” don’t weep.

Las piedras jamás, paloma, ¿qué van a saber de amores?

What will these stones ever know, little dove, of love?

Cucurrucucú, cucurrucucú,

“Coo… coo… coo… coo…

cucurrucucú, cucurrucucú,

“Coo… coo… coo… coo…

cucurrucucú, paloma, ya no le llores.

Little dove, do not weep anymore.

I send a thousand dove to search for you my love

In the spring, the northern doves return to me,

Cucurrucucú, Cucurrucucú,

We cannot find her in the north, please do not loose hope.

I send a thousand dove to search for you my love

In the summer, the southern doves return to me,

Cucurrucucú, Cucurrucucú,

We cannot find her in the south, please do not loose hope.

I send a thousand dove to search for you my love,

In the autumn, the western doves return to me,

Cucurrucucú, Cucurrucucú,

We cannot find her in the east, please do not loose hope.

I send a thousand dove to search for you my love,

In the winter, the eastern doves return to me,

Cucurrucucú, Cucurrucucú,

We have found her tears in frozen in ice,

And I cried.

I keep her tears as near to my heart so I can feel that I am closer to her than to myself

This must be one of the worst days in my life... gosh, such a bleak future I'm having...

Gaaa.... I hate myself so much right now... Because I keep on hurting myself and God... I'm just seperating my connection with him... I need Jesus to be by my side. But I think the staggering amount of sins I've done just seem to severe my connection with Him. Gosh... I feel so lost now... My college apparently gave me an offer letter to Diploma in Electronics which is not the subject I've chosen for, but it is the A Level Program that I wanted. I hope God can give me a small hope that it is an error that they have given to me. If God decides that I will not be accepted into the A Levels program, I shall strive to my another way. Sigh, I don't know what I want. And I don't know what to do. Can't just God tell me directly what is my path and what I should do?

I feel so angry that I can't overcome this sin, its like a drug and I think I extremely addicted to it. Gosh... Living is so hard. I wish I can just close my eyes and have the world stopping with me.

If I can't go into the A Level Program, then I have to study it in my hometown then. Though there are benefits and problems, therefore there is balance haizzz....

http://youtu.be/mDfKJXaoFrM

I like the stars when they're shining
but I fancy them more near to you
cause after a long day of crying out the blues
darling it's just you I adore, for

Minutes they turn into hours
and worries they all are subdued 
and nothing else matters
but being slow and still underneath the light of the moon

I can't make the time go faster
the week it feels so long alone
so when I find myself tucked away in bed
I wish upon a star to dream with you instead, cause

I like the feel of dancing
but I fancy it more with you
cause there's nothing as lovely
than your whisper in my ear
you're looking great my dear
now lets get out of here...