Falling In Love In a Coffeeshop

Song of the week or even month for me hahaha

It's been awhile since I wrote this dusty tearful and angry diary of mine... Well I believe that this section of my diary wont be filled in with so much pain.

Part 1

Lets start of with a girl whom I'm trying to love. But it seems it is hard for me to love someone when my heart doesn't wants to but my mind wants to. I spent quiet a lot of my time to try to be in love with that girl but it seems that none of any of my parts of my body is attracted to her, both physically and spiritually.

But in a positive side, that girl seem to be able finally to accept what reality is. Which is that she finally know that it is nearly impossible to steal this boy's heart no matter what I do. And it actually saddens me that me myself, am unable to give my heart to her. But ever since that girl's birthday I felt that I was doing something mean to her which is alienating her. I do not know why and I asked myself sometimes, why is it that whenever she sends me a text message I felt nothing towards it and theres not even the slightest interest to slide my phone and text her back.

I hope the time I spent with her do really open up her eye to how this world spins. I hope that I did really finally release her. Why? I believe that this girl has been in love with me for so many years even when she was in love with someone else but part of her was still into me. Finally when she got the chance to be with me, to be able to try to capture my heart. Her life to me, it seem, she was very elated while she was with me.

But, BUT, why do I always feel lackadaisical to even reply her message :/ ? I can't even answer myself that question =3=''

I hope that she

Part 2

Hallelujah!!!

I'm finally in the temple of worship :) I'm finally be able to listen to sermons and be under and with other christian brothers and sisters ^_^

I have to thank this elder friend of mine :) I really have to thank alot for you have bringing me to a church where I feel accepted and welcomed warmfully. Not only I have to thank them. I HAVE TO THANK YOU LORD! THANK YOU GOD FOR FINALLY PUTTING ME IN A TEMPLE OF YOUR BODY! Thank you thank you Lord. Although through many hardships and painful sins I have inflicted upon you, I am very sorry and I repent my sins and pray for forgiveness. Though I am a sinner, I will serve my Lord for all eternity. I pray for my Lord to help me to stay away from sin and to help me and even SCREAM at my ears to help me to stop myself from sinning.

My Lord, although I have sinful thoughts everyday but I do not see more further outward. I will try to see my horizon rather the circle which I drawn myself in and see what is only infront me. I pray that with the Lord's help I will be able to see more clearly and to think more clearly and wisely like thy Son, Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope I wont have much anger and hatred any more, I really do, I wish I can lower it down until there is none in me. Although I may not have people around me physically. But in spiritually, I will never be alone as Lord is always with me. I have to keep that in mind.

Part 3

Music :)

 Like what the girl whom I used to really like and never had the chance to have a relationship always
said,: "Bread is the food that satisfy our stomach but music is the food that always satisfy the stomach of our soul.

Finally I had the chance to atleast do a music jamming with other musicians ^_^ it feels good and awesome that I am a part of a group that needs every1's support to be able to mix and bake melodies, rhythm and harmony. Thus, music is made!

Had a lot of great time with my friends :)
Hope I can be involve in this activity more in the future teehee =)

So far, I have thought 1 person to play guitar :) and that person gave me a present which is a book about music appreciation and its really handy ^_^

I wish I can gather enuff hardworking spirit in me to play my piano again >.<
Been like ages since I touched my piano :/

Part 4

Well, it seems that everything is happening I'm gonna go to a university in a far away place :/

Donno will going there far away will change everything that is to me, I hope I will stay intact and be able to absorb and learn as much as I can about how this world revolt.

I still do not know if I do really like this girl who is like a thousand kilometers from where I am at the west side of malaysia ~ hmmmm.... Should I really go into a long distance relationship? But it seems that she has like zero interest in me.... And I seem to throw quiet a lot of my time at her hahaha~ well trust in the Lord, He got hurt more than I can accumulate in this lifetime of mine. What to do, I'm gonna be fatalistic and let God decide what happens next in this chest game.

Hmmmm..... My jie, she deciphered me that I'm surrounded by many people who love me :) example, my jie and another recently appointed jie who is abit more older than my jie who is farrrr away lol haha... Who else dearly loved me hmmm, my so called fake daddy and mommy xD? my lovely teachers :) hehe and finally, my parents! But lets not forget, MY GOD, MY LORD, JESUS :)!

Finally a blog with bunch of smileys hahahahaha

Part 5

Songs to check out!

Modern Nature by Sonndre Lecher, Covered by my youtube friend, Daniella and her friends :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBSsESMhbo4&feature=relmfu

Falling In Love In a Coffeeshop by Landon Pigg, Covered by my prettyyyy youtube friend, D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZcJRw5Gs88&feature=g-u-u&context=G21dff5aFUAAAAAAAMAA

Bizzare Love Triangle by New World Order, Covered by my 1 of my fav singers, Ah Fu!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qvo_AzKpaYI

Just To See You by Matthew Santos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcuApRwl6xI

you guys should really read this

 I walked from Burbank Just to see you. They are gone, It has passed, Roses dropped On the past. I walked from Burbank Just to see you. One last time, As it ends, As it fades, As this world Falls from grace. Waters rise, It’s too late, Hold me love, Is this our fate? 

When She Loved Me by Sarah Maclahlon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrfoEAzwHdI

one of the songs that can make me cry T^T

hahaha thats it!